Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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