How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
