im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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