so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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