Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
