so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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