My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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