you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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