And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
