I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
