you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
