Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
420 ftw
I think I died a long time ago.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
