You really coming over, don't trick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize