I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
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You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize