i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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