Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
