Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When did angry sex become our thing?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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