I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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