Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize