she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
