whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
