why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
