We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
