How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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