also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth