his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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