I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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