if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
