'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
