He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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