Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize