I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
