I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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