drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize