So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
