Your dad touched me again.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
