Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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