Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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