Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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