I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
