that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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