:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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