You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
