my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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