If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You did what with his pubic hair?
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