Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When did angry sex become our thing?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
