so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she pinky promised me she was 18
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
