Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
