So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
