So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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