there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize