It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
