my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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