my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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