I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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