Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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